Bureaucracy Explorer Gifts

'Individually we could do nothing. So we formed a committee which determined nothing could be done.'

Office worker on phone: 'If you could just email me the faxes of the photocopies of the transcripts of the fifteen phone messages in question, that would probably be the simplest.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

Flashing sign saying No in payroll office.

'I think we should form a committee to look into this 'individual initiative' thing.'

'These are the people who'll be line managing you.'

'I meet therefore I manage.'

Bureau of weights, measures and war propaganda.

Risk assessment in Hell

Planning Department Door

The bureaucrat on his way to work...

David won't be in today. He's been in an accident. Did he give notice?

CITY HALL DEPARTMENT 230179-B. 'Why, yes, you are in the right office -- Who told you how to get here?'

'So this is tax hell.'

"But on my claim form, it definitely says Universal credit..!!"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Quality Control

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Useless information"

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"