Bureaucracy Buddy Gifts

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Quality Control

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Useless information"

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

Smoke and mirrors.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules