Bureaucracy Commentator Gifts

'It's a letter from the Census Bureau, informing us of our move into an older demographic.'

"Reason For Visit: 'world domination' - can you enlarge on that please?"

'We used to have a 'National Malaise' -- now we have a 'National Attention Deficit Disorder.''

'A congressional hearing'

DOH to encourage PCTs to set up walk-in centres.

IRS Gift Shop: All purchases deductible on next year's federal taxes.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Quality Control

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"Useless information"

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Smoke and mirrors.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'