Bureaucracy Analyst Gifts

'True, but inefficiency and waste in government is an important part of our economy.'

'No, this is the department for Obbfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...'

"I'm pro forma today...you got 30 sec to finish and get out!!"

'Bloated, out of shape, not much use...now where have I come across that before?'

'It says here the D.M.V. got hit by a robbery today that took 3 hours. . . you know how those lines are.'

'All ninteen layers of management agree: We have to cut some of our frontline employees if we're to stay competitive.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Storm in the out tray

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Quality Control

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"I hate performance review season."

Time for More Paperwork

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.