Bureaucratic Critic Gifts

Bar Code Harvester

'Actually I'm a ?39,000-a-year 'Integrated Commissioning Manager' if you really must know.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Let's not go by the book.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Storm in the out tray

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Quality Control

Time for More Paperwork

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Virtual Doctor

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"