Bureaucracy Critique Lover Gifts

'Don't think of yourself as an insignificant cog in a VAST uncaring bureaucratic machine, but rather as a quite important cost center!'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Facelook

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

Wolf Reintroduction.

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

MI5 Press Office

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

'So, you're a little Hitler? You're hired.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

"Hello, department of pointless endeavors and redundant futility."

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'

Director: US Space Research.

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

It's Not How Long It Takes, It's How Big It Is

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

Auditor General.

Inland Revenue Awards - The next award is for the longest time it took to give someone the correct tax code.

'They want the medals back. Apparently, you used a Vicks inhaler before going over the top in 1916.'

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"