Bureaucratic Satire Lover Gifts

'Say, aren't you Mrs. Wit who gave me such a hard time at the building permit office?'

'Call me crazy: an aircraft carrier moored in the Thames estuary, which can double as a third runway.'

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Quality Control

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"But I already asked the other parent company. They told me to ask you."

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

Waste Management.

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

Wolf Reintroduction.

"If you work real hard and are willing to put in the hours, the sky's the limit."

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

'At least I feel better in my mind about why Hartnett wasn't returning my calls.'

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

"Kinda care, kinda don't."

"You know how to whistle don't you Steve, you just put your lips together and blow. . . but I wouldn't recommend it."

'Well, Sylvester, I think we'll show a profit this quarter now that we've eliminated our overloaded payroll.'

'All those in favor of standing and giving me a slow clap...'

"Accounts say that we can't afford to buy staff loyalty but we might be able to rent it."

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

"In this corporation, Mr. Taylor, at this level we do not do shirtsleeves."