Bureaucratic Satire Fan Gifts

Mr Pickwick and Sam in the Attorney's Office

Quality Control

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"It's okay to be ambitious but do you dare to pee on my tree, Jackson!"

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"Of course I believe in diversity. Harlan, here, is an endangered species."

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Well, this is a new low - even for you.'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

Hey boss, in light of all that's been happening in Hollywood and journalism, I just want to thank you. For what? Well, for a long time now, you've underpaid me, overworked me, threatened to replace me with undocumented workers or robots, made me an unwitting accomplice to money laundering for foreign oligarchs ... but you've never sexually harassed me. So for that, boss, I thank you. Only a fool would engage in an unprofitable ... I mean ... immoral ... activity. You're such a wonderful very bad

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"You're the type who'll make me prove every claim I make."

"Was 'delegation' the only thing you learnt on that management course?"

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

"Here a Goldstein and Company, if at first you don't succeed, you're fired!"

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

R. Gelfin - The buck stops here, then gets buried in his pile.

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

'All of your previous employers said you are very loyal.'

"Anderson, we'd like to talk to you about your stand-offish attitude.'

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

"I really enjoyed my job. Management found about it and fired me."

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work