Bunker Explorer Gifts

God in the bunker.

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

'Hole in one!!!!'

"You two seem oddly suited."

"Seriously, you looked so perfect that at first, I thought you were a lure..."

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

I think it's so cute when the kids camp out in the backyard.

Woman watering garden with watering can. Bug with umbrella up.

"Aww geez... peanut butter and jellyfish again."

Naked Mole Rat

"That, believe it or not, is also a mammal."

The Great Drywall of Sheboygan.

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

Professional to fish about mounted fish: 'This is what happens if you let yourself get hooked on worms.'

Jacques Cousteau.

"I'll have a man overboard!"

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

Scuba diver in a fishmongers

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

"Let us be a city under a hill, for all the world not to see."

'They played 'Digging' the whole afternoon: They had lots of fun !'

Deep Sea Diver Serenades a Mermaid.