Bunker Escapologist Gifts

A golf ball by the 18 hole

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

God in the bunker.

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

Cot Escape.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

Houdini 2019

Safe harbour

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

'Wait for me!'

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"Look—there it goes again!"

"We're tired of being stuck in the fridge! We want out!"

'Jane It used to be jungle out there'

Dad was widely regarded as being unsuitable for younger viewers.

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'

"Well, that's the last of it, which means we just ate thirty years' worth of food in two weeks."

Desert Island Game

Tortured by music

'I am preparing for 2013, and I suggest you do the same.'

Submarine Disguise

"I'll stick to my survivalist bunker."

"O.K., doomer."

"I fled from suppression, torture, exploitation and bullies."