Bundesliga Benchwarmer Gifts

"No, I'm afraid being the reserve left-back for Widdrington Amateur FC does not guarantee you to get one of the first testing kits."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"I AM at my usual position."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'This cave is really damp... and squidgy underfoot'

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Feathered frenzy

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

Referee's Free Kick Pack

Alien abducts Olympic athlete.

Spring Training

Athlete

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"I always thought you blokes were supposed to be impartial."

'Advice? Yep, take your Olympic torch somewhere else.'

"Congratulations on the discovery. Good luck getting it insured."

Nobody has been on the this team longer, without actually playing in a game than you guys. We're setting a benchmark!

'The Olympic torch is certainly making a blazing entrance into the stadium!'

"So ants can lift twenty times their body weight. Big deal. Who can't?"

Olympic Torch.

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

"Sorry, I don't know what a handball is anymore either."

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

Torch Bearer burnt from exploding flame. Staff behind him with petrol can used to fuel up flame.

Isolation Olympics

'That's impressive, Hanks. Now just 'presto' it right back out of his skill. Geez... And you wonder why you never play.'

Help! Made the Olympic trials but couldn't get a product endorsement contract.

"I'd love to chat, Al, but I've got to hit the road."

"I AM at my usual position."

'Dear diary: day sixty, still haven't played. Starting to regret choosing baseball. Over the NBA...'