Benchwarmer Gifts

'Do you mind? You're double parked.'

'That's impressive, Hanks. Now just 'presto' it right back out of his skill. Geez... And you wonder why you never play.'

'That's the trouble with parks football - there's not much quality on the bench!'

'Yo, Dewey! Got another one over here when you're done.'

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I AM at my usual position."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

The Romantic - Heart shaped medals

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

Feathered frenzy

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

Love.

Lesbian Couple

Spring Training

Be a friend.

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"Sure, I had a retirement plan. Stop going to work"

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

A woman's dog brings her a valentine.

'Doesn't this bench belong in the park?'

"I AM at my usual position."

'Dear diary: day sixty, still haven't played. Starting to regret choosing baseball. Over the NBA...'

'...Charles is a better kiss-up, so he will be starting in the position right next to me on the bench.'

'Well, this is your lucky day, Sheedy.Go in for Moore... He just blew out his knee.'

'Well, I don't know much about sport, but I know what I like.'

"In memory of Lofty Thomas."

"I play 'backside'. My backside is always on the bench."

It has been 103 innings since I last played.