Benchwarming Band Gifts

Nobody has been on the this team longer, without actually playing in a game than you guys. We're setting a benchmark!

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I AM at my usual position."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Feathered frenzy

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

We're visiting the marine who's home on leave. Bye! Don't hurry! Sweet! We can hang here! Mmm

Spring Training

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

Practicing the C major scale in 6 positions.

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

'It was Bob's last wish to spread his ashes on the spot where he spent most of his athletic career.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

'That's impressive, Hanks. Now just 'presto' it right back out of his skill. Geez... And you wonder why you never play.'

'Doesn't this bench belong in the park?'

"I AM at my usual position."

'We don't sound that bad.'

'Dear diary: day sixty, still haven't played. Starting to regret choosing baseball. Over the NBA...'

'That's the trouble with parks football - there's not much quality on the bench!'

'Yo, Dewey! Got another one over here when you're done.'

"I play 'backside'. My backside is always on the bench."

'Well, this is your lucky day, Sheedy.Go in for Moore... He just blew out his knee.'

"In memory of Lofty Thomas."

Don

'...Charles is a better kiss-up, so he will be starting in the position right next to me on the bench.'