Bump To Baby Humor Pillows

'Four months I've been in here and I'm yet to see a tenancy agreement.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"It's his emotional support animal."

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Here's one I made earlier!'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

"My wife's going through a difficult pregnancy."

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

Some blind dates work out just fine.

"Baby FOMO."

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"One last question, where's its mute button?"