Bump To Baby Humor Pillows

'Four months I've been in here and I'm yet to see a tenancy agreement.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"It's his emotional support animal."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

A dingo brings home another baby - 'You take it back right now... we still got the last one you brought home!'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

"My wife's going through a difficult pregnancy."

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

Some blind dates work out just fine.

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

"One last question, where's its mute button?"

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Baby FOMO."