Baby-bump Humorist Pillows

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"It's his emotional support animal."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Newborn making the V-sign

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"My wife's going through a difficult pregnancy."

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

"Gee, my first man cave!"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'