Building Banter Gifts

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

You said you wanted to speak to the chairman of Zapco Steel - I've just realised that's me.

Manager - I don't just manage, I excel!

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

"Got your e-mail and the answer is yes, I can pass you the stapler."

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'