Office Banter Fan Gifts

'He's the sort of person who asks, 'How are you?' and then looks bored when you tell him.'

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

"... You have a cold?... So, does that make you an illegal eagle?"

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Can do...No can do

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

The Rubber Ball Company

Organization is not rocket science!

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

Quality Control

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."