Queue Banter Gifts

"Been waiting long?"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

Easter Island Safe Distancing Barber Queue

I'm not retired yet...I'm just practicing.

Sandwich Bar.

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

Barrier around water cooler

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

"I put an olive in my beer and turn it into a health drink."

"You know I hate queues, let's wait for the next one."

'Bad news and good news, Tomano... they're abolishing my job and I'm taking yours.'

"Wine improves with age."

Stand in the Q.

'Who's next'

Taxi Rank

"And the first question is. . . What the f**k are you looking at. . ??"

"It's not what you think. I'm from South Dakota."

'There's Ron. He's always struggling with his wait.'

Take a number, R.

Post Office (packages for delivery)