Building Gifts

Men Looking Down a Hole

The Contract & The Change Orders.

"I hope we can flip it before the tide comes in."

'For cryin' out loud! Can't you forget about work for just one day?!'

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'It's okay. We all forget occasionally. It's righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.'

'What you mean the specs are being changed again?!?'

'That's nice, but isn't it supposed to be a grill?'

Clear construction agreements are important.

'We had to cut corners!'

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

'Don't tell me how to work safely! I've been at this job for over five years!'

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'I do not change the building codes every week. I do it every other week.'

Originally, Stonehenge was part of a much more ambitious project.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

In hindsight, Giovanni realised that it was probably a bad idea hiring a builder with a short leg!

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

Whatever the heck it is, it's built exactly to specifications.

'We all contributed.'

DIY horror.

Workmen Lifting.

Ig-glue.

"Ever since we glued on the lightning bolt, he's been working faster."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

'Wait, wait, stop!'

'This kit car had a little more assembly required than I had hoped for.'

"Who'd have thought a crease in the plans would result in an award for outstanding architecture?"

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

'We're running over budget. Better board up all the other windows, too.'

'Nice tree Clive.'