Budget Traveler Chuckles Gifts

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Expensive greeting cards.

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Travel Agency. We can afford far, and we can afford wide, but we can't afford both.

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Europe on $5000 a day.

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."