Budget Traveler Chuckles Pillows

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'He must be going economy!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Expensive greeting cards.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Europe on $5000 a day.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.