Budget Flying Pillows

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"I just..."

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Fries and kids

'He must be going economy!'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

World's cheapest car

Airline Mergers.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.