Budget Flyer Pillows

"I'm afraid that you missed the $50 flight, it left in 1973."

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Budget Air - Click here if you agree to be being treated like dirt

'Luggage is luggage, sir -- just try to be happy with what you've got.'

'This ladies and gentlemen is our business model.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"I just..."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'He must be going economy!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Overdraft limit.

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"