Budget Airlines Pillows

"At these prices, what do you expect?"

"That will be £3 for the flight. Would you like the optional £456 inside seat?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"I just..."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

World's cheapest car

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

Airline Mergers.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

Europe on $5000 a day.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Basic economy

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'