Budget Airline Enthusiast Pillows

Discount Overcrowded Airlines Co. That's not an escape slide --- It's a giant shoehorn. Departures.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'He must be going economy!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

World's cheapest car

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Expensive greeting cards.

"How's my tripping you up?"

The spend is high

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Airline Mergers.