Budget Dining Adventurer Gifts

'I promised we'd eat out but looking at these prices I've decided to move the table into the garden. . .'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

Picasso

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"A table in Siberia, please."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

'Your bill sir.'

Roadkill Restaurant

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

Arabian Cuisine

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."