Budget Dining Adventurer Pillows

'I promised we'd eat out but looking at these prices I've decided to move the table into the garden. . .'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"A table in Siberia, please."

Picasso

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

Roadkill Restaurant

'Your bill sir.'

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

Arabian Cuisine

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"