Budget-conscious Reader Gifts

'The book will probably last you longer than the library.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Garage Music

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

January Sales

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

Basic Shelter.

Wine Prices

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.