Budget-conscious Explorers Gifts

'Do you have a house for under £70 a week?' - 'Yes, and I intend to to continue living there.'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Their lowest cost vacation yet.

"Dad, I need $5 for the annual debate team adventure camp."

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

"We'd better NOT fill up on Earth - I've heard it's very expensive!"

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

"Travelling coach doesn't take longer...it just feels it!"

Gas price rollercoaster.

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

'Granted, the burros are a lot slower than chair lifts. But for a quarter the price of a regular lift ticket, I'm all for it.'

Bed n Breakfast $50/Cot and Croissant $25.

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

'The flight is 99p...but it's another £456 if you want to be inside the plane!'

Airline Charges

Phil would try anything to avoid paying hefty airport parking fees.

"Now boarding all passengers seated in Discomfort Class."

"Fine. As long as it doesn't involve spending money."

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".