Budget-conscious Explorers Pillows

'Do you have a house for under £70 a week?' - 'Yes, and I intend to to continue living there.'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Their lowest cost vacation yet.

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

"Dad, I need $5 for the annual debate team adventure camp."

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Low income vampires.

"We'd better NOT fill up on Earth - I've heard it's very expensive!"

Affordable housing

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

Gas price rollercoaster.

"Travelling coach doesn't take longer...it just feels it!"

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

Bed n Breakfast $50/Cot and Croissant $25.

'The flight is 99p...but it's another £456 if you want to be inside the plane!'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

Airline Charges

Phil would try anything to avoid paying hefty airport parking fees.

"Now boarding all passengers seated in Discomfort Class."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines, are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Fine. As long as it doesn't involve spending money."

"Isn't it great how everyone's saying how air travel leaves a big carbon footprint? Now I can stop being depressed and instead feel self righteous about never being able to afford an exotic vacation!"