Budget Concert Innovator Gifts

There were drastic cutbacks in the orchestra's budget.

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Mozart on a computer,

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

'Man, times have changed.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Occupational Hazards.

Ginger Baker.

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

DIY marriage counseling.

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

Computer Music

"I compose using post it notes!"

The spend is high

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

I get my ideas on sale...

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

Hacksaw Violin.

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"This next one's for you, babe."

'Oh, sow some interest! How many 8-year-olds can play the '1812' on a vacuum hose?'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

'Well excuse me Mr. watch me pound on a hollow log!! I just thought our sound could use a change!!'

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

Requiem

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

Man winding down a scroll of a musical score.

Tony Blair - EU budget.