Bucolic Humorist Gifts

You complete me!

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Hellbillies.

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Warning - Suggestions can be hazardous to your career.

I heart bypass t-shirt.

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'I didn't actually say you were getting a promotion...I was merely lip-synching.'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"I've never trusted cows."

Tooth Fairy sitting with judges at boxing match.

'The company has got flexible working hours. I've got to be on the spot when they need me, that's why they tie me to a tree near the front door after work.'

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'Anybody else beside Nebley who didn't get a way out?'

'Isn't your father that very tall boxer?'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions