Broth Philosopher Gifts

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"I yip, therefore I am."

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

Boring Board Meeting

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'Gentlemen we need more growth.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

"I'll grip but I won't grin."

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.