Birdbath Philosopher Gifts

"He just bought the water rights."

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

"Nation-building never works."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

A Poem about Sand

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Water power.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"OMG!"

Vanity artist

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'A bit extravagant don't you think you think?'

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.