Birdbath Philosopher Pillows

"He just bought the water rights."

"Oh, come on. Live a little. It's liberating."

"Nation-building never works."

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

A Poem about Sand

Water power.

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"OMG!"

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

Vanity artist

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

"IBM up 2 1/4, ATT down a 1/4,GM ... "

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.