Broadcaster Buff Pillows

"There's someone here to see you, Ms Dorries."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Dialogue

If nobody had invented graphics

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Local News in Heaven

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'Och lye the news'

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

Malcolm Sargent

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"The enemy of the people!"

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

Presenter Auditions.