Broadcast Professional Pillows

Nothing is more embarrassing than tripping over the news ticker.

'And now, PBS presents a made-for-Public-TV superhero show - Colonel Canada!'

Trial by Media

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

If nobody had invented graphics

Gay Times...

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Local News in Heaven

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

Reporter #6: television.

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"Have your people call my people."

Free press.