Broadcasting Expert Pillows

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

I've always been slower than computers...

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

Like.

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'We interrupt this Special Bulletin to give you an even more special bulletin!'

'I wouldn't worry too much about his communication skills....grunting is perfectly normal at his age!'

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

'This has been a Chris Wallace special report -- we now switch you back to Mike Wallace....'

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will totally freak out....'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."