Broadcast Guru Pillows

'This network's news program has been unfairly charged with having a left leaning bias.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"National security adviser"

Create some buzz!

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

The Thinker. The Listener

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

Your ad here!

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'My market doesn't understand me.'

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

There's a real disconnect going on here.

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack

"I can't believe you made it past our bitch receptionist."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

'In our press release, stress that our strategic focus will be on solving society's problems. This is code for making a bundle of money.'

Public Relations 101: Today's Lecture: 'Weapons of mass deception.'

"Maybe we should consider changing the name."

Resume Consultant. To avoid giving anybody the wrong idea, you should stop calling yourself a "hands-on" manager.

"Be open about what's bothering you...."

"I think it’s time we started resenting other people."

Branding Consultant

The effectiveness of e-mails