Broadcast Guru Pillows

'This network's news program has been unfairly charged with having a left leaning bias.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"National security adviser"

Create some buzz!

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

Your ad here!

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'My market doesn't understand me.'

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"I can't believe you made it past our bitch receptionist."

There's a real disconnect going on here.

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

'In our press release, stress that our strategic focus will be on solving society's problems. This is code for making a bundle of money.'

Public Relations 101: Today's Lecture: 'Weapons of mass deception.'

"Maybe we should consider changing the name."

The effectiveness of e-mails

"I think it’s time we started resenting other people."

"Be open about what's bothering you...."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"I told you never to call me here."