Communication Guru Pillows

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

'Nobody turned up to the 'effective communications' seminar...they didn't get our memo.'

"Oh. Sorry for yelling. I thought you were much farther away."

'In addition to our web, radio/tv and print advertising, we'd like you to add word of mouth. We feel you're the one for the job.'

"Great leadership is about listening to everyone, not just the people who agree with you."

Communikations Semminar.

A great coach is good at listening...

Create some buzz!

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

The Invention Of Marketing

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"Hi - I'm in the vein."

"When they said I'll get unlimited calls and texts with my new mobile contract, I didn't realise they would all be from PPI insurance companies....."

'Some gobbledegook from the Titanic...LOL...then two hours later, OMG.'

"Oh, my mother's learned a lot from this campaign. She sends me five robocalls a day."

"So my last suggestion wasn't much help, then?"

'I'm not jumping. This is the only place I have a clear signal.'

'She hasn't finished her client care course yet!'

Video speaking.

'While you were out, we went to multimedia messaging that makes notes like this obsolete.'

'If we are to have effective communication with our partner organisations, it's probably best if we do not use text messaging.'

'When I asked for 110%, I didn't mean for everyone of you to give 10%

'My market doesn't understand me.'

'She thinks I'm always trying to put her down, but what does she know?'

'Ahem. No txtng PLZ."

Cavemen communicating via smoke signals

"Did you get the e-mail about the phone call I instagrammed you about?"

Bacall Centre

"Be open about what's bothering you...."

"Have you ever tried saying it without flowers?"

'It's for you.'

"The client wants to know why the horrible changes they requested made their project horrible."

In search of a newspaper, an easterner walks into an Arizona bar...

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