Communication Gurus Pillows

'The best advice for new teachers is to listen to students with your ears and your heart.'

"I said... he doesn't pay me any attention any more!"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"National security adviser"

Create some buzz!

Changing Minds

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

Twitter censorship

'Let us pray...'

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

The Thinker. The Listener

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'My market doesn't understand me.'