British Monarchy Aficionado Gifts

The Hanoverian horse riding the starved British lion

Benedict Cumberbatch

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"He's a guard dog."

"She wishes to range free!"

Czarcasm

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Disraeli Stands for 'British Interests' Against Russian Expansionism

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"