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The Hanoverian horse riding the starved British lion

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

"She wishes to range free!"

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

Disraeli Stands for 'British Interests' Against Russian Expansionism

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'I screwed up royally!'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'