Brevity Enthusiast Gifts

'Take this report and reduce it to an acronym.'

"He was never one to waste words."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"You need to limit your Artist's Statement to 140 characters."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

The Proust of Twitter

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Careful Hank, this one still has some fight in him."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

Best mates

Baby with straw to eat out of bib.

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

"You're afraid of what?"

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

Editor. Short. Sweet.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"Does it make you at all uncomfortable that we're same sex friends?"

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

Knight

How to do without

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

'I hope no one thinks this ride is a bromance.'

'That one's for being a very brave boy!'

'What is it about 'Please, Dad, I beg of you' that you don't understand? FYI, my best friend Amanda's dad didn't chicken out.'

Blessed are the brief.

'Well, that's all the news. Now we'll just have to sit here and wait for something else to happen.'

'You should've seen how he stood his ground with the board of directors this morning. I swear, the guy must have icewater in his veins!'