Brevity Seeker Gifts

"Counsel is instructed to limit his summation to 140 words or less."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

The World's Easiest Airport

The Proust of Twitter

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

Useless add-ons.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

Mohammad's motors

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Not much money, glory, or praise

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.