Brevity Philosopher Gifts

"Your twitter account is phenomenal. Each tweet is limited to 140 characters, but it seems much longer."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

George Orwell

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

The Proust of Twitter

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

Editor. Short. Sweet.

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

Rodin's 'The Thinker' imagines himself as Rodin's 'The Kiss'.

The War Against Imagination

"Maybe he's waving and drowning."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

'No matter how hard I work, I'll never get higher on the food chain then this?'

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"Do you have any why-to books?"

Conflict is harder to sustain when you don't see everything in black and white.

'What does Easter mean to you?'

"I want to tell her I love her and let her know I'm careful with money."

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

'I would be more health conscious if only I could also be unconscious.'

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

Blessed are the brief.

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

'I'm not paying $200 per hour for therapy, so you must be the one who's nuts.'

"His acceptance speech was only 140 characterslong."

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'