Breakup Recovery Pillows

'Our line is dead. Sometimes my old boyfriend goes off his medication.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Misery Likes Company Dating Agency. Yup, this was the place.

'It's over'

'True, he's an i-d-i-o-t, but he's c-u-t-e...'

"I'm dating a squash champion."

Vases, hearts & organizations

Dating Agency: Closing - Everyone Must Go!

"I'd invite you in, but I'm still cleaning up a few remnants from my previous relationship."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I may not be Mr. Right, but I know Mr. Right, and maybe if you sleep with me it will make him jealous."

"You lying fink! Your dating profile specifically stated you were a non smoker!!"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

A woman buries her broken heart

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Large Emoticon Collider

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

Ereptile Dysfunction

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

"You've got to learn to let go."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

Change your style, learn to smile!

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'