Mending A Breakup Pillows

"You came back!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Large Emoticon Collider

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

"You've got to learn to let go."

"I think we should each try other beers."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

A woman buries her broken heart

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

'Right now I'm on a 'man diet'. No more boyfriends until I lose twenty pounds.'

"Omigod! It's the breakfast I made him for his birthday!"

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"Could you just make it a little awkward for a few weeks?"

Boyfriend Shirt.

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

"I need a hug."

"I'm a dish, not a bowl. This was never going to work."

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

"Okay, these are the documents we need to sue your ex for child support, and if we can convince the court it's not too out off line, to have the words, 'lying, cheating b*****d' tattooed on his forehead."

"My ex weighs at least 5 lbs and is 23 inches. He usually hangs around the old dock, and prefers worms. Remember, you didn't hear it from me..."

"You lying fink! Your dating profile specifically stated you were a non smoker!!"

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"