Breakfast Pun Lover Pillows

Waitress, my egg is a bit runny!

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"A little lamb please."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

Octopi a la mode.

'You tell me you're a sexual athlete and your first time at bat you strike out!'

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Hotness

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

Literate Dogs.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'