Morning Pun Lover Pillows

'Wakey wakey Howard! Time to get up! You know what they say, the early bird gets the worm!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

A Brain Drain

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Weather forecast

The static electric eel is very rare.

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

Larry's Literary Market.

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."